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Faith Miscarriage Support Mom Life

My Story: Miscarriage Support Episode 3 of 4

Posted on October 30, 2017

If you follow my blog you already know a little bit about me! I have two rowdy boys, Timmy who is 3 years old and Charlie who is 1 year old. My husband Jordan is the sweetest and constantly loving on us. I have been a stay at home mom for about 1 year now. It has been a really good change and a huge blessing to our family. It is a roller coaster of hard days and really wonderful days.

Since I made the decision to stay home full time a lot of women ask me how and why we made that decision. I wrote a post on 4 steps to consider in becoming a stay at home mom. Hopefully it will equip other mom’s with information to determine if that is the best thing for their family.

I am one who likes to know why! I like to understand cause and effect of all things in life. I like to know the direct relationship between actions and outcome so that I can optimize the outcome to align with my plans and desires. I am fun, outgoing, and spontaneous but what most people don’t know about me is a lot of what I do is strategic and done with a purpose that will result in a desired outcome. So that takes me to my miscarriage…

I had considered the possibility of a miscarriage years in advance of trying to get pregnant and took the ‘proper steps’ to avoid it. I never went on the pill (for a couple of reasons) but one of which was to avoid the risk of a miscarriage because that’s what people said could cause it. I was healthy, exercised, didn’t drink, smoke, or use drugs…ever. So I thought I had a good handle on preventing this scenario. I was serving God, growing in my faith, and thriving in my marriage. I already experienced my share of trials and challenges in my faith and had passed the test by choosing to follow God above all else. According to my standards, at this point, it was smooth sailing into this next phase of life, right God?

Even when the doctor explained to me that my body was beginning the process of miscarrying the baby I thought, ‘not me’. I’m going to pray with all my heart and God will save my baby, right God?

The hard reality I needed to come to terms with is I am not in control. We are not in control. God took me to a place where I could not change the circumstance, nothing I could do would change the outcome. That was frustrating. God ‘seemed’ silent because He wasn’t doing what I told Him to do. I was humbled greatly as I was driven to a place of total surrender and reliance upon HIM.

We remember our baby by keeping the sonogram picture and remembrance ornament in our bedroom with us.

Hillary Scott wrote the song Thy Will Be Done about her miscarriage. I have listened to that song a million times and every time the line “You are God and I am not” strikes me to the core. I constantly need that reminder.

The book of Job has taught me so much in this area of my life. God offered no explanation to Job, but rather called all involved into a deeper level of trust in the Creator, who rules over the world with perfect wisdom and mercy. We may not know what is going on in heaven or what God’s purposes are, but we must trust Him. Because of this, the matter of determining why we suffer becomes obsolete to the matter of God’s perfect wisdom. I pray that if you are in a place of trial or tragedy that you seek Him with all your heart and find Him!

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

Another song I listened to over and over is Good Good Father by WorshipMob. After drawing near to God and walking closely with Him you can’t deny His overwhelming goodness. This song is a constant reminder and celebration of that.

One of the lines in Good Good Father is, “…I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you are like…”. Some of those stories might be good and some of those stories might be bad ones but I urge you to find out for yourself. Seek Him with all your heart and determine for yourself who He is. Then you will know what they mean when they sing, “…a love so undeniable that I can hardly speak, a peace so explainable that I can hardly think…”.

Resources:

Faith Miscarriage Support Mom Life

Amy’s Story: Miscarriage Support Episode 2 of 4

Posted on October 26, 2017

My name is Amy Davis and I have been married for 13 years, with 4 children. I was a practicing mental health therapist, but I have been a stay-at-home mom since my third child was born in 2012 with special needs. Though I’m taking a break at the moment, I also share my best savings and frugal living tips on my blog at www.slayyourbudget.com. When I’m not cooking, cleaning or folding my 900th load of laundry, I enjoy reading Christian romance novels, binge watching Billions and watching my big girls kick butt in basketball.

Since my miscarriage in 2014, I found out I was pregnant again just one week before the due date of my miscarried baby. This greatly helped when that date rolled around and the depressive feelings set in.

In a surprising revelation, it was also determined that my due date with my rainbow baby was October 14, 2015. This is significant to me because it is in fact, my birthday! I never would have imagined that my fourth and final baby would be the most perfect little boy (the first three are girls and we always kept the gender of our babies a surprise) indeed born on his due date, on my birthday! How could that be anything but God?! The atmosphere in that delivery room was indescribable. I was joy-filled and crying, praising and thanking God.

I may still not understand His plan, but my faith is strong. I think of the baby I lost often. I still wonder and play the “what if” game; it’s natural I think. But I’m so thankful for my sweet Luca and can’t imagine our family without him.

In the time after my miscarriage, music greatly helped in the journey through my grief. Christian artist Plumb has many songs that were particularly poignant including my favorite, Need You Now. I also journaled my thoughts and relied on Bible verses like Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

We also chose to memorialize our baby as a family by writing messages on mylar balloons (I hear paper lanterns may be a more environmentally friendly/animal safe option now), praying over them and releasing them to Heaven. This gave us some sense of closure and a way to say goodbye to the baby we never got to meet.

Resources:

  • Bible Verses: Isaiah 41:10, Jeremiah 29:11
  • Here’s a link to the miscarriage ornament the ladies recieved at the end of the video. This beautiful glass ornament is a wonderful memorial piece for those who have lost a child.
  • Song: Need You Now by Plumb
Faith Miscarriage Support Mom Life

Steph’s Story: Miscarriage Support Episode 1 of 4

Posted on October 19, 2017

 

My name is Stephanie Wood (Cato). I am a 23 year old full-time nanny to two sweet young girls. My husbands name is Justin Wood, he is a 25 year old video editor. We’ve been married for 3 years, together for 5.

I love being young and married, it’s a blessing to be able to do life with my best friend and to know that, God willing, we have an entire lifetime of experiences together. One of the many reasons we decided to get married so young was that we both wanted to start families young and to have a lot of children running around. I had always envisioned that as soon as we got married it would be a breeze to fall pregnant and start growing our family.

After about 1 year of just taking pregnancy tests, we decided we needed to take more control of our fertility. It was like a full time job paying attention to everything, it still took us 7 months more of trying until I finally saw the “Pregnant” result one morning.

I remember how happy I was, happy isn’t even a good word for it. I was more overwhelmed with joy, excited that after months of crying and feeling like a failure that I had finally done the one thing that only I could do in our marriage, I was pregnant. I had the honor of carrying our first baby, taking care of them, feeling such peace having them with me. I remember calling Justin, who had left for work shortly before, crying and telling him the exciting news and then driving to his work and just sitting in the car with him talking about how we were finally a mom and dad. It felt surreal.

We shared the news with all of our family by driving to each of their houses and videotaping their reactions when we told them all that we were expecting, it was an honor to see their reactions. It was going to be both of our parents’ first grandchild. All of our siblings’ first niece or nephew. My grandparents first great grandchild, and my aunt and uncle’s first great niece or nephew.

A few months later, October of last year, I got a tattoo to remember my baby. It is a heart, half of it is a black outline of a heart, the other half is made up of a ribbon that is pink and blue that symbolizes pregnancy and infant loss awareness. Getting the tattoo helped me with some form of closure. I also love the symbolism of carrying this tattoo like I wish I could carry my baby. I take comfort in that our first little one never knew the pain of the world, never knew fear, but first opened their eyes and were in the arms of God, in the safety of heaven, where I will finally get to meet them one day.

It has been a year and four months since my miscarriage, and we still have not managed to fall pregnant again. We continue to pray that every month might be our month. We still have hard days, where the pain and grief comes forward and we can’t help but to cry and feel helpless. I still wake up in sweats some nights, remembering what it was like to miscarry our baby. I actually went on anxiety medication for some time because I couldn’t get restful sleep and I couldn’t focus on anything but my grief. I don’t think anyone should be ashamed to ask their doctor for help if they need a little extra help.

Other things I used to help me cope were things like devotionals. I went online and ordered a few devotional books specifically for women who had miscarried, also about women who struggled with fertility. I also read and reread Hannah’s story in the Bible. I use her as an example. I pray like Hannah. I want to be like Hannah. I want to be faithful and know that in God’s timing we will grow our earthly family like he plans for us.

I found that in this time, I learned a lot about myself, about what I can handle, about strength I never knew I had. Justin and I have been through something that a lot of people don’t understand and it’s hard for others to relate, but 1 in 4 pregnancies are lost due to miscarrying. A lot of women don’t even know they were pregnant to begin with. However, the ones who know, know what this feels like. I want them to know they aren’t alone even though it feels like the loneliest time in your life. I want them to know that there’s hope when there seems like there is none. I want them to know that we will all rejoice with God one day, alongside our precious babies. There is hope in the Lord. There is love in the Lord.

RESOURCES:

  • Favorite Bible verses during this time: Psalm 22: 9-10, Jeremiah 1: 4-5, & Isaiah 44:2
  • Here’s a link to the miscarriage ornament the ladies recieved at the end of the video. This beautiful glass ornament is a wonderful memorial piece for those who have lost a child.
  • Below are the devotionals I used throughout the grieving process. The images are clickable and will take you directly to them on amazon.

This post contains affiliate links. 

Faith Miscarriage Support Mom Life

Ministering to Women Who Suffered A Miscarriage

Posted on October 10, 2017

 

Did you know that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage? Did you know that when I experienced my miscarriage I didn’t know of anyone who had experienced a miscarriage? How is it possible that 25% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage and yet I knew of no one?

Probably because all of those women did the same thing I did and didn’t tell anyone about it.

Why? Why isn’t it talked about more? Why aren’t the babies lives acknowledged and grieved by friends and family? Why aren’t the mother’s surrounded with love and prayers for their loss and broken heart? Why do mother’s carry this burden alone, quietly, and in secret?

I know why I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t talk about it because I didn’t think others would understand. I felt silly grieving so deeply over a person I never met. Peoples reactions seemed to cheapen my pain and it just wasn’t worth it. But you know who would have understood my pain…another women who experienced the same loss, the same lonely grieving, the same frustration, confusion, and helplessness.

I was in my kitchen doing dishes this past summer and God gave me an assignment.

“Create a place where women can go and know they aren’t alone. Give them a community who can grieve with them, pray for them, and encourage them. Be a resource of good and helpful information during such a confusing time. Show them my true character of love, faithfulness, and goodness and how to reconcile that with personal heartache.” 

I reached out to several other women and came up with a group of three others who were willing to help me with this project. We spent a Sunday afternoon together having lunch, sharing our stories, and expressing our willingness to minister to other women who are hurting and need healing from their loss.

Our goals were aligned, to give our pain purpose by ministering to other woman who suffered a loss during pregnancy and point them to Jesus. It’s during trials that our faith is truly tested. Each of these women have powerful stories about how their faith was tested and the ways God spoke to them during their miscarriage.

Over the next 4 weeks I will release a blog post each week with the full interview from each of these amazing women. Each story is unique in its own way so I hope many women can relate to the various experiences. We are excited to share this with you and we pray it heals broken hearts.

Here is the ‘trailer’ and sneak peak of the powerful stories you will hear over the next four weeks.

 

Faith Mom Life Our Home

Teaching Toddlers the Bible – Tool Kit & Resources

Posted on June 1, 2017

This past fall my husband and I joined a bible study based on the book Kingdom Kids by Tony Evans. At the time I had a 2 year old and a new born. I went into it assuming we were ahead of the game and everything we learned would be good to store away for the future. I assumed none of it would apply to us at this stage because our kids are too young to learn about Christianity. I was wrong. I had two major realizations during that bible study that stuck with me.

1. I must be intentional about handing down my faith to my kids. 

I was under the misconception that because my husband and I are Christians my children would be Christians too. This bible study helped me understand the importance of taking time to teach our children about God, teach them scripture, tell them stories of what God has done in our lives, and openly share our daily walk with them.

It is important for our kids to see us living out our faith and serving God. But more importantly, they need to understand WHY we are living for Christ. I assumed that somehow they would automatically “get it” by observing our lives. I now realize that is naive and unrealistic. As parents, we have a responsibility to be intentional in filling our children’s hearts and minds with God’s truth.

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11

2. It is NOT too soon to teach my kids about God. 

I thought I would teach my kids about Jesus and scripture later in life when they could fully understand it. We said prayers at bedtime and I thought that was enough for now. During the study I was convicted and realized it is not too soon!

  • If he can recite movie lines then he can recite scripture!
  • If he can learn kids songs then he can learn children’s bible songs!
  • If he loves to read books then we can find an age appropriate devotional!
  • If he can adopt actions and attitudes of tv characters then he can learn the actions and attitudes of people in the bible!

It is my responsibility to teach my kids God’s truth with age appropriate content they can enjoy and understand. It is not enough to rely on the church program they attend once a week. That will reinforce what is being taught by you at home but it will not get the job done.

I have to be intentional about passing on my faith and it is not too soon to start! 

The last several months I’ve been going through various books, cd’s, and videos to find tools for teaching a 3 year old scripture. I am happy with what we are using right now and it has been really effective for teaching Timmy. Hopefully you will find this helpful and easy to implement with your little ones too!

I created a ‘Tool Kit’ that has all the resources we need:

1. CD player and two cd’s.

We received these two books for Timmy’s birthday from Dollar Tree! The cd’s are included in the books. They have all the classic children’s church songs. They are fun and easy to follow versions. I enjoy them too! I bought a few cd’s like this for his Easter basket that were a total fail. These are great! And I found a set of four on Amazon for $2.50! Grab these here, you won’t regret it.

2. ABC Scripture Memory Cards.

I really wanted these! This is the main content I am relying on to teach scripture. I looked through many versions of ‘ABC scripture flash cards’. It was hard to find a set with scripture that wasn’t too lengthy or with words that aren’t too big for a 3 year old. I was about to give up and make my own when I stumbled upon this set from Unoriginal Mom. Read the entire post because she also gives great advice on how to use the cards with your little one. I had them printed and laminated, love them!

3. Chalkboard for writing and reading our memory verses.

I had plans of a DIY chalkboard wall and luckily I stumbled upon this chalkboard at Hobby Lobby on sale for $40. The tin pales are also from Hobby Lobby. The chalkboard is great for writing out scripture as we recite it. This is helping Timmy identify certain letters and words. I used different colors and sizes for the words so he can remember that yellow says, “LORD” and blue says “GOOD”.

4. Age appropriate devotional!

We went through about 3 or 4 devotionals before finding this one. This one is perfect! It is short, holds his attention, and references life scenarios he can relate to. There is one for girls and one for boys! Get it here!

Teaching Timmy scripture is helping me memorize more scripture too! As a result, I don’t get tired of going over the verses with him. What ideas or resources have you used to teach your little ones about God? I would love more ideas!

Faith

Owen Jacob – Welcome to world!

Posted on May 22, 2017

So often in my prayer time I ask God for more…more for my family, more growth for our ministry, more opportunities to expand my reach, more land for our next home…so often I ask for more but God knows what I actually need is less.

The weekend of May 19th was set up to be full of great activities but a very busy one. We had young adult group at our house Friday night, MOPs training Saturday morning, a 2nd birthday party Saturday afternoon, friends visiting from out of town Saturday night, a bake sale at church for the Belize mission trip, a gathering for a missionaries we support, and a girls dinner Sunday night. All fun events with people we love but we definitely over did it with the scheduling and set ourselves up for burn out and melt downs.

Thursday afternoon we got the call that my sister in law was going to the hospital to have her baby! We put the wheels in motion to start passing off all of our responsibilities for the weekend and notifying friends we couldn’t attend. Most of the drive was spent reshuffling things for the weekend. We made it in time to be some of the first family to meet baby Owen late Thursday night!

She looks awesome for just having a baby and look at little Owen testing out his voice!

I can only imagine the fun these three boys will have together over the years.

Friday morning I laid in the sun by the pool while Charlie slept and Jordan pushed Timmy on the swing and I was reminded of the many blessings God had poured over us on this day. It amazes me that God is so intimately aware of every part of our lives; our schedules, lack of sleep, stress, anxiousness etc. As a mom who lives a life of mostly simple daily tasks I can’t believe God cares to show himself in nap schedule, playtime, and family time when he knows I need it.

The peace and stillness of laying in the sun was not something I enjoy often and it was so rejuvenating. God used the blessing of Owen’s birth to interfere with our lives and replace busyness with rest, to replace responsibilities with joyful celebration, and to replace a weekend full of dividing and conquering with togetherness. I’ll never fully understand why the creator of the world cares about such small details of my life but I know it comes from his deep love for us.

My little walker wants to run down the hill like big brother but he still needs momma’s hand to make sure he doesn’t end up face down! lol.

Timmy LOVED Grammy pulling him around in the wagon. Charlie held on tight the entire ride and had an unsure look on his face. lol

Yup, we love him!

Uncle Jordan, Uncle J, Uncle Rowdy? The jury is still out!

How do I look with three?! Haha

The proud big cousin ‘holding’ Owen!

Allie and Ralph are amazing parents already and tag teaming the night time duties like pros! We loved on Owen, played at Grammy and MackPappy’s house, and I went to Michael’s and Target 3 times to get supplies for Owen’s nursery letters. Did you hear my ground breaking news?! Michael’s accepts competitor coupons from AC Moore, Hobby Lobby, and JoAnn Fabrics! How did I not know this?!

Click here for the step by step instructions on these DIY Nursery Letters! They are simple to make and light weight for hanging over the crib.

These three boys have the best grandparents!

The blessings are endless this weekend – the friends who stood in our place to cover our ministry responsibilities, the rejuvenation of a sunny day poolside, the time together as a family, the rest of a simpler schedule, and the one that surpasses them all – Owen Jacob. Our newest little love who is absolutely perfect. Owen baby, we will forever drop everything in our lives and drive 3 hours to be there for you! We love you!

Children really are an interruption but a beautiful interruption full of unthinkable blessings!

Faith

Serving + Young Kids

Posted on February 5, 2017

A friend of mine recently shared this video with me. Francis Chan is challenging parents to keep serving while raising children. He explains that most young adults stop serving after starting a family. It is not hard to figure out why…everything becomes more difficult with children…I mean everything! Things such as showering, going to the grocery store, and doing the dishes let alone serving outside of the home.

I hear what he is saying and our culture is too driven by comfort. Francis Chan is always good about challenging that, which I appreciate. My take away from this video is the only way for your children to fully experience God is to let them be exposed fully to the way you live out your faith. There is no acceptable excuse to “pause” any part of your life for Christ. This certainly looks different for everyone. Not everyone is called to travel the world sharing the gospel. Simply, don’t stop living out your calling for Christ as your phase of life changes.

Sometimes you wake your baby at 5 am to drop the mission team at the airport!

We lead the young adult group at our church which is certainly our calling and our passion. When I was pregnant with Timmy one of the pastors of our church had us over for dinner and encouraged us to keep serving after having our baby. He and his wife shared with us creative ways to continue doing ministry while raising a family. They obviously knew it would get more difficult after kids and as a result many people quit.

Francis Chan talks about “safety”, “protection”, and “gated communities”. I don’t know how much of it is about safety as much as it is about running low on sleep, not being able to find a sitter, and not having enough hands to cross the parking lot with a baby, toddler, and a donation for the food drive. Needless to say, I get it! 😉

I think I was the only person marching in the St. Patty’s Day parade with a stroller. I showed up late and hopped in half way through. Making it happen! lol.

As our family grows and we continue to do ministry the sacrifice necessary to keep serving has increased and it is difficult. BUT when you sacrifice for God it always leads to good because He is good. When you think you have no time, money, or energy left to give God will provide so you can continue to serve. Many times I have been stressed and worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep our ministry going, raise the boys, and keep my sanity but God always comes forth with blessings of rest, helping hands, time, and supplies.

Leading bible study while wearing Charlie. I’m sure I lost cool points with the young adults but you gotta do what you gotta do! 🙂

If you have a young family and are struggling to continue to serve like you did before kids I encourage you to just keep going. Keep showing up, keep putting Christ first, and put your faith in God to take care of all the rest. He will provide for your every need. It will be difficult and the sacrifice will be great but the blessings and eternal impact will be worth it.