My name is Amy Davis and I have been married for 13 years, with 4 children. I was a practicing mental health therapist, but I have been a stay-at-home mom since my third child was born in 2012 with special needs. Though I’m taking a break at the moment, I also share my best savings and frugal living tips on my blog at www.slayyourbudget.com. When I’m not cooking, cleaning or folding my 900th load of laundry, I enjoy reading Christian romance novels, binge watching Billions and watching my big girls kick butt in basketball.
Since my miscarriage in 2014, I found out I was pregnant again just one week before the due date of my miscarried baby. This greatly helped when that date rolled around and the depressive feelings set in.
In a surprising revelation, it was also determined that my due date with my rainbow baby was October 14, 2015. This is significant to me because it is in fact, my birthday! I never would have imagined that my fourth and final baby would be the most perfect little boy (the first three are girls and we always kept the gender of our babies a surprise) indeed born on his due date, on my birthday! How could that be anything but God?! The atmosphere in that delivery room was indescribable. I was joy-filled and crying, praising and thanking God.
I may still not understand His plan, but my faith is strong. I think of the baby I lost often. I still wonder and play the “what if” game; it’s natural I think. But I’m so thankful for my sweet Luca and can’t imagine our family without him.
In the time after my miscarriage, music greatly helped in the journey through my grief. Christian artist Plumb has many songs that were particularly poignant including my favorite, Need You Now. I also journaled my thoughts and relied on Bible verses like Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
We also chose to memorialize our baby as a family by writing messages on mylar balloons (I hear paper lanterns may be a more environmentally friendly/animal safe option now), praying over them and releasing them to Heaven. This gave us some sense of closure and a way to say goodbye to the baby we never got to meet.
Resources:
- Bible Verses: Isaiah 41:10, Jeremiah 29:11
- Here’s a link to the miscarriage ornament the ladies recieved at the end of the video. This beautiful glass ornament is a wonderful memorial piece for those who have lost a child.
- Song: Need You Now by Plumb